And unfortunately I said some of them to people I care very much about.

After coming home and having time to think.  I realize that I have been somewhat of an ass.

Now I suppose the term “somewhat” is dependent on the point of view of [...]]]>

I have said some pretty idiotic things today.

And unfortunately I said some of them to people I care very much about.

After coming home and having time to think.  I realize that I have been somewhat of an ass.

Now I suppose the term “somewhat” is dependent on the point of view of the person I was speaking to at the time.

OK so to make a long story short. Yes I got bad news today. Just one more thing in what seems like an endless array of “bad things” that have been sent my way of late. It is too involved here to explain right now, mainly because my hands are killing me and I don’t want to type more than I have to.

And to those of you who have mentioned the “it has to get denied a few times before it is approved” comment I understand this part. But I do thank you for mentioning it because it lets me know you care and best of all that people actually read what I post. lol But there is more to the initial denial than just that. As I said more to it then the obvious. I am sure that those of you that know Red and I well enough will know it all before too long.

As for me well I am and always have been a fighter. Not going to let this go. I have things I need to focus on for the immediate future and worry about the rest later.

But first I want to say something. Not like the above is not something, it is. But just not what I want to say now and to who I wanted to say it.

Man now I am beginning to type like Red. Stream of conscious typing. No structure.. lol

Ok Red, it is you that I want to address this to.

I realized after I dropped you off at school that I had been a total ass. I made you cry because I told you to take back the clothes you bought me because I was worried about expenses. Well in my mind I was right. It was just a gut reaction to natural survival. Shut every non essential down and bring the wagons into a circle.  In my panic I neglected to take into account your feelings and for that I am sorry. I hate to see you cry. It tears my heart up. You are not only my partner Red. you are my best friend, confidant and all that makes me worth knowing.  I have learned more about who I am in the last 10 years with you than I have in the last 56 years I have been on this planet.  If it had not been for you my Love I would not be here now. My life or what I thought was my life ended 10 years ago in Florida. You are the Only thing that stopped me from pursuing one of the stupidest and final mistakes of my life.

I guess what I am trying to say here Red is that I Love you more than life it’s self. And without you there is nothing. You Rock my world on a daily basis. And when I am foolish enough to say or do something that hurts you it rips me apart. So I ask you for your forgiveness and know that I can not promise it won’t happen again. Why? because I am human and I have emotions. But I will sure try to think before I speak in the future.

I Love you All Ways and in All Ways. We will survive.

And as much as I love the Klingon‘s.

Today is Not a good day to die.

Today is a good day to Fight!

To my FaceBook friends. At some point tonight I will log back in and change my photo back and remove the rantings of the lunatic. lol

But until then,

Peace Out

Dragon

Yeah easier said than done.

So for the last 2 days I have been calling my landlord’s maintenance line because the bathroom sink is now leaking, no make that [...]]]>

Now with all the rest of the bullshit I have going on in my life I still have to maintain and get things done right?

Yeah easier said than done.

So for the last 2 days I have been calling my landlord’s maintenance line because the bathroom sink is now leaking, no make that flooding into my basement and about a dozen tiles including the soap dish have just decided to travel off the wall and make a home in pieces in my bathtub.

Yeah, not so good. I managed to save a lot of things in the basement that were victims of the biblical flood that hit the basement.  Some not so much. But nothing of any real value has been damaged. So we are lucky there.

But I digress. I have been calling for 2 days now to a fucking voice pager and as of now have not heard a bloody peep from him. I am so pissed. Do you have any idea how bloody frustrating it is to get up in the morning, take your shower or bath. Dry off then haul all your other bathroom equipment into the kitchen (which is on the other side of the house) to use the sink? Well let me tell you. It is a pain in the bloody ass.

And then on another note. I was enjoying a fine meal the other day and bit down in the wrong way and broke several of my lower teeth. Now don’t get me wrong I have never been the best on visiting the dentist. I hate them. They scare me more than anything in the world. I can stand a lot of pain in a lot of ways. But the thought of going to a dentist and the sound of the drills and the imagined and real pain brings me to my knees and makes me scream like a little girl.

Now that being said I have to see if I can get into the dentist and get the last of these broken lumps of enamel surgically removed and a bottom plate made for me and have my insurance pay for them before I lose the insurance at the end of the month. There are no appointments for the next 2 months open so I was told this morning to just come in at 7am when they open and see if I can get seen as an emergency case. Then take it from there. I already know from Red’s experience that my dentist can not do anything as he does not do surgery in his office so I have to be forwarded to the surgical center here and then back to the dentist for the plate.

Can I get all this accomplished in less than 2 weeks? Who the fuck knows. But I am sure going to try. So it seems I have to get to the Lawyer at 10 am tomorrow and then I am going to sit in the dentists parking lot on Friday until they  open and see how it goes. Wish me well. I can already hear me screaming from the pain . Oh lord I hate the thought of this. But if I dont do it now I am going to be eating soup for the rest of my life.

Hmm I wonder if I can rent myself out to any and all of my friends to do what ever projects they need done or help with for money?

Well I can and will do anything except the illegal things. lol

But it is a thought. Might be a way to raise rent and utilities money for at least another month.

Any offers or takers out there? I work cheap (LMAO). Just can not do anything that requires talking for a long time (COPD) or any heavy work as the old lungs won’t hack it. And I have a pickup truck ( unless it gets repossessed for non payments). But for now I do have one. So can haul shit as well.

Ahh well tis but a dream. Unless you feel the need and want to help out.

Love to the world it fucking needs it.

Peace Out

Dragon

So I went to their website to see what they had and this is [...]]]>

I was told that after my insurance runs out on Oct 31, 2009 that is 18 days from now I should consider continuing my insurance with COBRA Insurance. Never had to deal with them. But have never heard anything good.

So I went to their website to see what they had and this is what I found:

======================================

“When should you continue your group health plan benefits under COBRA?
You should seriously consider continuing your health benefits under COBRA if you…

* have had comprehensive benefits and don’t mind paying more for them.
* want continual, guaranteed coverage at a higher cost.
* have had recent health problems.
* have had ongoing health problems.
* are taking expensive medications.
* have been declined for private insurance recently.
* have a history of medical problems.
* have had an accident within the 60 day window of enrollment.
* are pregnant or planning to get that way.
* got a job and your new employer does not offer a health plan“.

============================================

Now all things considered.

I Understand that COBRA is a LAW not a Medical Insurance Company.

Look at the First qualifier.

“have had comprehensive benefits and don’t mind paying more for them“.

MORE for them???? MORE???

What fucking planet did these bureaucratic money grubbing assholes wake up on?

So let me get this straight.

I just lost my job. I lose my insurance in 18 days. But if I want to keep it then all I have to do is pay MORE and I can keep it.

I did read that correctly didn’t I?

Yes I did!

Where in all that is fucking proper and intelligent do they think I can afford to pay MORE for insurance when I just got terminated?

I mean lets get real here. Without my income we are not going to be able to afford the bills we currently have like rent, food, medications, car, insurance (both car and us) utilities. You know the basic amenities that one actually needs in order to live.

The answer. They don’t fucking care. They do not care if we live or die. Just that they get their overpriced premiums every month.

Yeah I can see that this is not going to bode well.  Let’s hope that the Attorney has something positive to tell me when I go see him on Thursday.

Peace Out

Dragon

Either way it will fix my breathing problem. [...]]]>

It is confirmed, I am a freak of nature. There is no reason why the medications I am taking/using should not work. But the good Doctor is now putting me on some new cutting edge stuff that is supposed to help. Either that or kill me.

Either way it will fix my breathing problem. Also took enough blood to feed a small family of vampires, but they claim it is for tests. 1 of which I wont get the results back for at least 6 weeks.

So I now have to use a nebulizer (breathing machine) at least 6 times a day. 3 times a day with 2 different medications mixed in, then 2 times a day with the “new” medication (which I have to withdraw from a vial with a hypodermic needle) and then 1 time a day with the old standby Albuterol. At the end of a 6 dose day I am now so FUCKING wired I cant sit still.

And it is not like back in the day Yo, when I experimented with various substances. Oh Fuck No. There is NO FUCKING HIGH!!!

Just the Down/Crash and Burn, shakes, sweats, nausea and feeling like I have been hit with a fucking baseball bat.

Man I am a BITTER old man.

And because of all this the Doctor says, “Several more weeks out of work, until I can get the results of all these tests back“.

My bank account has now run dry. And if work lets me go because I can not function in the capacity I was hired for, what can I do? I mean really. So I lose my Insurance as well as my job. Even though it may only be a temporary situation as it stands right now. At least I pray that it is.

Because as everyone knows it is so fucking simple to get other insurance when you are on record with having a pre-existing condition.

Right now I HATE the World.  I cant think straight / Clearly and I wish I was in England where they have socialized Medicine and not have to go broke and lose everything.

Instead we feed the Greed of Corp America. FUCK YOU!

Pissed off Wheezing, Jittery, Crazy Fucking,

DRAGON