Red Dragon Sanctuary » Phamily

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!

RedDragon — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 17:41:02 +0000

May all that’s Green be good to you today.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to one and All!!

May the Beer be Good and the Shamrock bring you good fortune.

If it is not one thing it is another

RedDragon — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:12:34 +0000

Now with all the rest of the bullshit I have going on in my life I still have to maintain and get things done right?

Yeah easier said than done.

So for the last 2 days I have been calling my landlord’s maintenance line because the bathroom sink is now leaking, no make that flooding into my basement and about a dozen tiles including the soap dish have just decided to travel off the wall and make a home in pieces in my bathtub.

Yeah, not so good. I managed to save a lot of things in the basement that were victims of the biblical flood that hit the basement. Some not so much. But nothing of any real value has been damaged. So we are lucky there.

But I digress. I have been calling for 2 days now to a fucking voice pager and as of now have not heard a bloody peep from him. I am so pissed. Do you have any idea how bloody frustrating it is to get up in the morning, take your shower or bath. Dry off then haul all your other bathroom equipment into the kitchen (which is on the other side of the house) to use the sink? Well let me tell you. It is a pain in the bloody ass.

And then on another note. I was enjoying a fine meal the other day and bit down in the wrong way and broke several of my lower teeth. Now don’t get me wrong I have never been the best on visiting the dentist. I hate them. They scare me more than anything in the world. I can stand a lot of pain in a lot of ways. But the thought of going to a dentist and the sound of the drills and the imagined and real pain brings me to my knees and makes me scream like a little girl.

Now that being said I have to see if I can get into the dentist and get the last of these broken lumps of enamel surgically removed and a bottom plate made for me and have my insurance pay for them before I lose the insurance at the end of the month. There are no appointments for the next 2 months open so I was told this morning to just come in at 7am when they open and see if I can get seen as an emergency case. Then take it from there. I already know from Red’s experience that my dentist can not do anything as he does not do surgery in his office so I have to be forwarded to the surgical center here and then back to the dentist for the plate.

Can I get all this accomplished in less than 2 weeks? Who the fuck knows. But I am sure going to try. So it seems I have to get to the Lawyer at 10 am tomorrow and then I am going to sit in the dentists parking lot on Friday until they open and see how it goes. Wish me well. I can already hear me screaming from the pain . Oh lord I hate the thought of this. But if I dont do it now I am going to be eating soup for the rest of my life.

Hmm I wonder if I can rent myself out to any and all of my friends to do what ever projects they need done or help with for money?

Well I can and will do anything except the illegal things. lol

But it is a thought. Might be a way to raise rent and utilities money for at least another month.

Any offers or takers out there? I work cheap (LMAO). Just can not do anything that requires talking for a long time (COPD) or any heavy work as the old lungs won’t hack it. And I have a pickup truck ( unless it gets repossessed for non payments). But for now I do have one. So can haul shit as well.

Ahh well tis but a dream. Unless you feel the need and want to help out.

Love to the world it fucking needs it.

Peace Out

Dragon

Days of Future Past.

RedDragon — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 08:13:41 +0000

A lot has been going on in my life of late.
For example:
Two days ago Red and I got a visit from a very close friend and her husband. The morning ended in calling 911 to rush this poor guy to the hospital for what we later found out was a brain aneurysm that had burst. It is one of the multitude of unending ricochets of life, all of which have kept me from driveling on here. Not that I could not. I do have the technology available to me at any given time to publish all manner of medium to my “social network“. It is just that I have not found what I wanted to or needed to say.

What I mean here is that no matter what happens it affects everything you do. The Chaos Theory. My life of late has been full of it. My health has been on a mostly downward roller coaster for the last 8 months. Long story there. But the repercussions of what is happening are somewhat daunting and scary. That bloody Mortality specter just never fully goes away. The whole “It could have been me” thoughts get stirred up and from then on it is just fueled by your own imagination.

I have been in a very reflective mood tonight. Sorry Red.. I did not get a lot accomplished around the house tonight. But I did get back in here for a bit. Although not sure how much will get posted as the fire returns to the joints.

Perhaps more later.

Dragon

Life goes on.

RedDragon — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 04:52:43 +0000

No word from Doctor as yet.

So now I have to wait until Monday to call and see if there was anything out of place on the last CT scan and the breath tests I took.

Waiting… It is the devils playground for the mind.

Even though we are told not to expect the worst when waiting for medical information. We as a whole can not get away from those easy to set up thoughts. You always want to and hope for the best. But damn it. Why does it seem easier to imagine the worst? It is not fair. It is how we are programed from childhood. Why do they do that to us? And who are “they” any way? Our parents? The media programmers from TV and Radio? Yeah I said Radio. I am old enough to have received some of my earlier form of entertainment on the radio. We were not all rich enough to afford a TV back in the day, Yo.

And to those of you that have called me and tried to contact me on the social sites. I apologize. I have been in a funk for a while now. I am not trying to ignore you. Honestly. I Love you all so much. You know who you are.

If I name any at all then those I do not mention would more than likely get offended because I did not mention them. So lets just say those of you that are closest to me and know where I live and my phone number. That should cover it. Friends, Family and especially my PHAMILY !!!!!!

Now as my last post from the parking lot seems to have worried some of you. Don””t let it. I am NOT giving up by any stretch of the imagination. I was just trying to get some of this crap ( pardon the pun) my chest. Yes, I am so fucking tired of all the “lets test this med because the other one did not do squat” method of doctoring. It is not only defeating to ones well being but it is expensive as well. Yeah I have Insurance at the moment. But does not it figure that most of the meds I have to take are not classified under the good old insurance $5 per prescription plan. They range from $45 all the way to a few hundred a prescription. I had to refuse the last prescription because it was $200.00 for a weeks supply and the insurance will not cover one cent of it. So yeah. This is why I bitch and moan…

Anyway I just wanted everyone to know I am ok. I am doing the best I can from day to day. Just got done with a breathing treatment and the shakes are back bad. But we will persevere. I do not see me going out of the house much over the next week or so. The weather is not good for me to be out. With all this rain you would think it would be ok. But along with the heat during the day it just seems to create more humidity than there was before it rained. I mean right now if I walk out of the front door and into the heat of day. I feel like I just got hit in the chest with a ten ton truck. Within a few steps I am almost completely exhausted. So I will be here at home in my electronic world for the next several days.

I Love you all,

Peace Out,

Dragon

Sitting in a parking lot

RedDragon — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 15:02:33 +0000

Just finished my second CT scan in 6 months. Still not able to breath normally without coughing my fool head off. The tightness in my chest, the Flem I cough up constantly. The headaches. It is all having its toll on my mental wellness.

I try so hard to do what Doctors tell me. But the constant barrage of “new” medications I have to take on a daily basis are killing me. Both in doing nothing but taking them all day long it seems. As well as breaking my bank account. Even with insurance I just can’t afford to keep this up. I am going broke.

Sometimes I just feel like giving up. Nothing is working. And I am paying out the nose for doctors to test different medications. But I keep going. More for my loved ones than for me. I am just so bloody tired of it all.

More later after next appointment.

Dragon

The end of the day!

RedDragon — Sun, 31 May 2009 06:09:20 +0000

: Image by oldreddragon via Flickr

So we are now 45 minutes into the day after my birthday. It was a good day. I enjoyed the company of my wife Red. We did nothing of any interest. Just spent down time with each other. Then I sent her off to bed because she has to work tonight.

I have never given much thought to birthdays. They haven”t really meant anything since I was a kid. Just another day in the life so to speak.

But for some reason this one was just a little extra special. Perhaps it was me having that whole looking at my own mortality thing a while back. Or perhaps it was that it also marks 10 years with the love of my life.

If you want to know more about her just ask her or refer to the many posts I have made about her and I over the years.

Then again just click this link and read her blog yourself, A Red Headed Stepchild . Red I Love you now and forever.

To the rest of my Phamily and Family, Thank you for the well wishes. For those of you who forgot. Shame on you. But hey I forget too so what the hell. No harm meant no harm done.

Live your life as you choose and dont let anyone else tell you your wrong. You only get 1 chance at this folks. One chance and then your ticket is punched and you move on to the next booth in the freakshow that is life, the universe and everything.

“42 “ Remember people, that is the answer after all.

Dragon

Another year older, Another year wiser?

RedDragon — Sat, 30 May 2009 05:34:51 +0000

: Image by oldreddragon via Flickr

And so it goes.

As of this minute (12:01 PM Central Standard Time) the Dragon turns another year older.

It has not been an easy year for me this year. I have had a butt load of medical problems. Money has been so bloody tight.

The economy sucks and what you do make does not even begin to cover your day to day needs. In order to do that you either have to go deep into debt or live so minimalist that you never get to enjoy the basic things in life that make it all worth living.

Is it any wonder why I just don””””t feel like celebrating?

I know that is not fair to Red. She has bent over backwards to make sure I am OK. But she has also carried a full load at school and a part time job as well as another part time job as a Tutor at the school writing center.

She in all her love just wants me to have a nice day for my birthday. That is all well and good.

But it is so hard to tell her that it is all the things that she says and does on a daily basis.

Those are the things that I celebrate.

Those are the things that I live for and crave on a daily basis.

Those are the things that drive me to live each day more or less in the moment.

“The Past are my memories, The Present is my Life, The Future is for Dreams“.

Red is the other part of me that I have always lacked and never knew how to fill, or even that I was missing part of me, until I met her. From that moment on I just knew. She is like the perfect mortar to my wall. It can be as weak or as strong as I want it to be.

But she is the binding agent that flows among every particle of my being, Rigid, Fluid or Flexible keeping the whole being that is Dragon together and able to weather any storm.

So you see my love. The celibration of the day of my birth is so trivial against the Celibration that is my Life with You!.

Thank you for every second of every day of every week of every month of every year that is the rest of my Life.

I look forward to so many more. All to be with you…

Peace Out,

Dragon

2AM Mutterings about Ones own Mortality

oldreddragon — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 07:27:06 +0000

My life for the last year or so has not been up to snuff. And especially in the last 8 months. Now when I say up to snuff. I don””t mean trouble with the wife or anything of that nature. It is the concerns of my health now that sit and percolate in my sub conscious.

I had to endure and work on stabilizing some rather bad psychological problems about 8 months ago. It all had to do with stress that then lead to depression and finally to my meltdown. Then the aftermath of that and being out of work on disability. Then having to see a shrink for 8 months. But it helped.

Between my shrink and my doctor we managed to get a nice little cocktail of medication together, (through several weeks of trial and error). And this cocktail now keeps me lucid and stable on a daily basis. Yay !

But during this entire time Red was there to help me. God I love that woman. Anyway I digress. I was worried about what the hell was happening to me. I have always been a strong guy. Perhaps not in the physical muscle sense, but in body and spirit. And I was losing control.

I now need pills to keep me balanced emotionally. This is really fucked. But what choice do you have? Yeah there are those that tell you that once you recognize the triggers that set off the emotional responses you can learn to avoid them. yeah.. Easier said than done. And for the longest time you still need medication.

I hate living on pills. It is like that saying,“Better Living through Chemistry”.

So after fighting this crap for over 8 months I finally get someplace and get back to work and then shit hits the fan Again!

I cant stop coughing and chest is tight and very difficult to breath.

Yeah I do smoke. Have for over 40 years.

Yeah I KNOW I have to quit. Especially now.

Went to the Doctor after trying to get rid of what I thought was just allergies and sinus problems. His diagnosis was Severe Asthmatic Bronchitis. Got Chest X-Ray and that looked OK. Doc prescribed some meds, a weak steroid to clear the lungs and an antibiotic to help get rid of infection behind eardrum.

OK, Cool.. That ought to do it. That was back the end of Jan.

Well it didnt get any better. I went back and Doc kept adjusting the meds. But it never got better. Now this is April and had to go to the ER because I had so much problems with breathing.

So ER Doc orders another X-Ray and then proceeds to give me 3 breathing treatments in the space of 5 hours. A shit load of blood was removed from my person. For lab tests.

By the time I was done that day I was wired for supersonic sound. If you have ever had an Albuterol breathing treatment you know what I mean. I was shaking so bad I looked like a drunk that had not had a drink in days. And it has a speed effect. But couple that with the steroids I was also given. It was a bad, bad day…

Than came the kicker from the ER Doc as I was signing my get out of here papers.

Doc: “I want you to call your Doctor today and get an appointment with him tomorrow”.

Me: “Well I have one for the 26th of this month”.

Doc: “No you need to get in to see him tomorrow”.

Me: “Why Doc”?

Doc: “I found a dark mass / lesion on one of your ribs that I can not identify”.

Me: “OK, will call him when I get done here”.

So I did call him and got in the next day. He asked me what was up. I explained what the ER Doc had said. He looked at me rather funny and looked up the ER Doctors notes on his computer.

He just said , can”t be we just did an X-Ray end of January and I didn”t see anything.

But to be on safe side he scheduled a CT scan for the next day. That was Friday.

Now here I sit. Waiting on the results.

Knowing I have COPD was enough of a kicker to have to deal with. It is going to cause me to make some major life changes.

But now to think there is a dark mass / lesion on my rib that was not there 3 months ago. Little scary..

So there you go. I am still having problems breathing. Meds have been upped to the sky, breathing treatments 4 times a day, ( fuck me that makes it hard to function ) , and I am out of work until the 19th unless this does not get any better and or the thing on my rib is something weird or scary. Then I could be looking at longer off and that sucks.

Peace Out

Dragon

Another Life Chapter Closes.

oldreddragon — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 03:24:12 +0000

For the last 55 years, barring a short 7yr stay in the Navy I have always been a long hair. It was just the way it was. I inherited my mothers hair. And from the time I can remember I have been told how nice and full and thick it was. It became my main vanity. And that was all well and good.. Up until a few days ago….

A lot has happened to me and my life in the last year. And this was just the final thing I needed to do to get on with my life. Trust me it is a very long and involved story. Which I am sure will get told here over the course of many, many posts.

But for now lets just say this is the end of one adventure and the beginning of another.

Peace Out,
Dragon

A Great holiday weekend

oldreddragon — Thu, 29 May 2008 00:01:51 +0000

Got to admit it has been a great 3 days. A little fun, a little work, a little Phamily Intrigue.

Red and I have gotten a lot accomplished. One more day left in my holiday weekend and then back to work…
We plan to move the computer room around tomorrow. If it works it will make the room a little more company friendly.

Not looking forward to mowing the lawn in the morning, but it has to be done.

Red and me got to spend a lot more time together this last few days than we have in almost a year.. It has been fucking Awesome.

Went to see Indiana Jones this weekend with a couple of our very close friends. Saw the movie then went back to their place afterwards for some good conversation and relaxation.

As for the movie… Lets just say I think it could have been so much better. I think this one was more like Indiana Jones as seen through the eyes of Disney.

I mean come on.. Only that concept could explain a man sitting in a lead lined refrigerator at ground zero of a nuclear test range, get blown a few miles by a nuclear explosion, bounce several times (without the door even opening a fraction) and get out without a scratch or broken bone. Let alone not being irradiated so much that he should have been able to light Times Square on a cold winters night. You win some, you lose some.. Indy lost this one…

Red is asleep now. Has been for the last few hours. Poor girl has to work tonight. I will have her again for a few hours tomorrow morning but then the weekend comes to an end. Mine at least. Hers ended today.

I Love you Red. More than I can ever show you.
See you in a few hours with a Hot cuppa for ya.

Dragon